What The Scale Told Me And Other Things I Learned This Week

I did go home, and I got on that scale friend and it told me I was 260 and I almost fainted.  Now I know that doesn't seem like much considering the other week I said that I was 258, but I was 258 on the weightcare scale and like 253 on the scale at home.  So I figured I'd gained like seven or so pounds.  But then I went to weightcare on Wednesday and I'd only gained a pound.  It's not a huge gain but it's also a gain.

Usually I'd look on the bright side (the only one pound side), but that's what I've been doing for the past twelve weeks and really I've only lost twelve pounds.  I lost the first ten pounds in the first week and then gained two by the next.  So really I've only lost four pounds in ten weeks.  Which is not good.

I had an inch of an epiphany.  More of a discovery really.  It's easier to explain if I say what happened last night. 

On my way home from work I stopped at the convenience store intending to buy A ice cream.  I bought TWO ice creams instead with the whole mindset that I would save the other one for later.  Well I get home and put them in the freezer and get all showered and ready for a relaxing evening. I grab the one ice cream, which was one of those rolo pops, from the freezer and enjoy it whilst reading emails.  About twenty minutes pass and I go to the freezer and get the second one and gobble that one up too!  So what happened in that twenty minutes that made me reach for the second one? 

Well, growing up in a house of four kids and four adults, you kind of develop this survival mentality.  Even though I didn't really need it.  Considering that my parents would never let me starve.  But I still had this "eat it all now or they will" instinct when it came to junk food and any food that I really enjoyed.  I think a lot of kids go through this "phase".  But I don't think I ever grew out of it.  Somewhere something signals to me to eat it all or I'll, I guess lose?

But really I'm losing now.  So I have to figure out how to reverse this.  I'm going to talk to the doctor at weightcare about this on Friday and I'm actually going to go see a hypnotist tomorrow and maybe that can help me get "rewired" too.

I guess we'll see.  There's always a brighter tomorrow right?