It's all fun and chocolate until somebody gets hurt.

I caved again.  Had a really depressing day for like no reason.  Had absolutely no reason to be sad.  But I was.  I almost called in sick to work.  It was like twenty minutes until my shift began, driving on the way to work and I was stroking my phone trying to decide if I was going to dial or not.  I didn't, if you're wondering.  I didn't dial, I went to work.  And you know what, I actually had a good time at work.  Laughing and enjoying myself and getting silly (which maybe I shouldn't do at work because when I get silly it looks similar to when I've been drinking... ) But then I was on my way home, my dad picked me up and he was telling me some really like weird stories about how his friend died of cancer and I don't remember the other ones 'cause I sort of started to just block him out because I didn't want to hear it.  So we stopped at Shopper's Drug Mart to get Excedrin and I went and bought Reese Miniatures.  Ugh, I totally caved.  I just finished eating them too.  Like the whole bag, which I'm sure has a gazillion calories in it.  I guess I won't be having too much fun at the engagement party this weekend.  No over-eating and no drinking for me!  Need to get a grip on this stuff.  I think I'm going to go crazy if I can't get a handle on myself.

And that's the thing, it is me that's the problem.  I'm letting myself feel sorry for myself so that I can justify in my mind, buying the junk and eating the crap.  How do I figure out a new mindset?